You only have one mother…..

1597122_10152669845145031_1421512996_oMy mum isn’t well. She is unwell in that way we refer to those who are, officially, really old; ‘well she is 86 dear’; ‘things are just wearing out’; ‘well none of us go on forever’. Diagnosis? Why bother with one? It is ‘old age’ and if we are lucky, perhaps, it comes to us all. So let’s just watch her legs swell up, sense she can’t quite catch her breath, and listen whilst she tells us of something that worries her – over and over again so that very worry is reinforced, and dwelt upon until conspiracy theories take over from reality and there is the inexorable descent into an anxiety state that takes more of her breath, more of herself.

Perhaps she will rally, again. But she has started those sad little conversations that begin ‘don’t be upset when I go dear, I’ve had enough’, and at some point, in the natural order of things, we will lose her, my sister, brother and I.

But I have to admit I am struggling, desperately hoping she will once more be her ‘old self’, flashes of whom we still glimpse as we watch her wolf down dark chocolate, then complain of indigestion, or hear as she describes the behaviour of a friend who is ‘lovely, but…’

My mum dedicated her life to bringing up her family and caring for her husband, our dad, who was diagnosed with early onset Parkinsons before any of us,his children, had left primary school. She has been a widow almost as long as she was a wife and has had to deal with what she would describe as a ‘basin full’. She has a strength of character that can be both tender and downright scary, and of her three children I am the one whose ‘buttons’ have been pressed for maximum effect, with emotional consequences for us both. But recently, as her short term memory has deteriorated and her longer term recall become more selective, we have enjoyed some great laughs, and hours of simple fun playing games on the iPad, discussing who are our favourites on Strictly Come Dancing (‘I can’t bear that Katie Derham, with that smile…’) and talking about her family history. No competition, no manipulation, just love.

10862706_10153454611380031_6347351552373342626_oI know in my heart that I am hoping she stays with us not for her sake, but for mine. I am scared – of being ‘top of the tree’, of no longer being, physically,  someone’s daughter, of being cast adrift from that last link with all those memories, of feeling alone (despite having my own lovely family).

We are a lucky human being if we get to our eighties as fit as a flea. Our society desperately denies death whilst worshipping youth, and the elderly are seen as a demographic time bomb, a problem to be solved, a drain on our national finances. Why are we so keen to stay alive, when at the same time we are casting age and experience aside?

Perhaps I am affected by national as well as personal events. The world seems a scary place at the moment. Am I alone in thinking someone has taken the brakes off and our lives and events are spinning out of our control? Mum has been ever present, a safety blanket, the tap root from which much of my life has taken strength. Too much? Possibly. Perhaps I am just afraid to acknowledge myself as an adult…

At some point I have to acknowledge myself as a root from which my own children have branched out and become the lovely folk they are.

I am no longer a child, but I will always be the child of my mother.

Posted in Childhood, Family, Family History, love the universe and everything, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

Support Writers and Booksellers – Alternatives to Amazon


Great piece here by Chella, a recent guest on my Talking Books Radio Show, for the Writers Anon writing group blog. She is right to suggest that alternatives to Amazon are out there, and as ‘Small Business Saturday’ approaches (5th December) there are even more reasons to shop locally, ethically and efficiently!

Originally posted on Writers Anon - Taunton's Writing Group:

If you hadn’t heard, Amazon, the online bookseller, has become a bit of a monster, in more ways than one. It dominates the online market and it does so by using a

Godzilla Slaying the Amazon monster and supporting indie booksellers img. (aka GOJIRA), Godzilla, 1954

business model that depends on paying its warehouse staff low wages and effective tax avoidance. Added to that, its success at undercutting the high street, at the expense of its workers and government tax earnings, means traditional book shops are struggling.

Last year, I finally had enough, when I heard that Amazon deliberately puts its warehouses in areas with chronic unemployment, allowing it to dictate the lowest wages and zero hours contracts. Not paying tax is one thing, but basing your business on exploiting the most vulnerable is just despicable. I used to do all my Christmas shopping at Amazon. It was easy, convenient and…

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Guest post: Cholera’s Lasting Legacy by Amanda Thomas

Amanda Thomas with her latest book Cholera: The Victorian Plague

Amanda Thomas with her latest book Cholera: The Victorian Plague

Today I am lucky enough to have a guest on my blog – author and historian Amanda Thomas, whose latest book Cholera – The Victorian Plague has just been published by Pen & Sword History. Here she offers a fascinating, and tragic, overview of this terrible disease, which still ravages communities in many parts of the world. My sincere thanks to Amanda and full details of how you can purchase her book are given at the end of the piece. If you have any questions or comments we would love to hear your thoughts on the subject.

I have been interested in cholera for many years and my second book on the subject, Cholera: The Victorian Plague has recently been published by Pen and Sword.  I first became aware of the cholera epidemics of the nineteenth century when a distant cousin, Susan, asked me why some members of our family had disappeared in Lambeth in the late 1840s, specifically James and Anne Osmotherly, who originated from the Hoo Peninsula in Kent.  James is my second cousin five times removed and Anne was the niece of Susan’s great grandmother.  Susan and I visited Lambeth Archives in London and discovered that James and Anne had both died of cholera, an often fatal disease which causes severe vomiting and diarrhoea, and which is commonly thought to be caught by ingesting water tainted with sewage.

It was at Lambeth Archives that I opened for the first time a box of documents entitled The Lambeth District Sanitary Reports.  These pristine papers, virtually untouched since the day they had been written, were to form the basis of many articles about the 1848 to 1849 cholera outbreak and eventually my first book on the disease, The Lambeth Cholera Outbreak of 1848-1849 (McFarland, 2010).  The District Sanitary Reports were written in two or three phases in January and February 1848 and give a vivid insight into the deplorable living conditions of Lambeth’s working poor.  They were produced in response to the 1847 Metropolitan Sanitary Commission to investigate whether better drainage and sanitation might improve the health of Londoners.

London Slums  Wellcome Library, London

London Slums
Wellcome Library, London

In the nineteenth century thousands died from cholera in Britain during the four major epidemics of 1831-2, 1848-9, 1853-4 and 1866, and in the years between when the disease was still prevalent but not so virulent.  In Lambeth alone in 1848 and 1849 around 2,000 died, perhaps more, but many deaths were attributed to dysentery and, despite the introduction of civil registration in 1837, some went unrecorded.  At a time when disease was little understood and the government was fearful of uprisings like those which had taken place in France and America, it was important to keep the working poor in check.  Deaths from cholera in the early stages of an outbreak were kept as quiet as possible by the medical elite so as not to cause widespread panic; those most at risk of the disease were the poorest members of society and also most likely to cause unrest.  The working population was concentrated in the densely populated riverside communities of conurbations which had grown up and rapidly expanded in the early days of the Industrial Revolution.  Epidemic diseases such as cholera are opportunistic and will spread easily and fast in environments like these where there is a lack of sanitation and little understanding of basic hygiene.

Death from cholera is swift, painful and unpleasant, as the dehydrating effect of the disease causes the blood to thicken, affecting circulation and respiration.  In a densely populated community cholera will spread voraciously once it has taken hold, killing vast numbers throughout the warm weather of summer and early autumn.  During the worst epidemics gravediggers were unable to keep up with the number of burials, and the merciless nature of cholera, together with the sight of coffins piled high at cemetery gates, had a profound and lasting effect.  In the nineteenth century cholera was as feared as the plague, or Black Death.  Local authorities and the government knew something had to be done but the challenge was enormous and also extremely costly.  In the new urban industrial areas such as Lambeth’s waterfront, houses for the working population had been erected hastily and without care.  A lack of sanitation, filth, damp and poor ventilation were all factors in the spread of other potentially fatal diseases such as smallpox, tuberculosis, measles and diphtheria.

Politics and religion divided opinion and played a part in delaying social reform; ignorance and prejudice impeded scientific progress.  Most believed disease was spread by miasma, or foul air, which did not help the argument for improving sanitation.  Yet whilst the poor were the worst affected by cholera, the better off were not immune, and the repetitive severity of successive cholera outbreaks highlighted an urgent need to improve Britain’s sanitary infrastructure for everyone.  Outbreaks of influenza and typhus in the late 1830s also had an effect, but by the middle of the century the putrid stench emanating from rivers and open sewers, scientific observation and the gathering of statistics were all catalysts for change.

The stories of Dr John Snow and the removal of the pump handle in Soho, and Joseph Bazalgette’s new system for London’s sanitation are well known.  They reinforce the common understanding that cholera is not transmitted through the air in miasma, but rather, it is a waterborne micro organism, a vibrio, which spreads through water tainted by sewage.  Today cholera remains a serious threat to public health but current research and the recent outbreaks, such as those in Haiti and Bangladesh, have shown that contaminated drinking water is not the whole story, which the historic record confirms.

In Bristol during the 1866 cholera outbreak Dr William Budd realised that the working population was at risk of contracting the disease not just from a contaminated water supply but because of their poor hygiene.  Budd and his colleagues made local people aware of the need for cleanliness and also put in place a system for disinfecting affected houses.  As a result only 29 people died in Bristol during that outbreak.

Amanda with the heritage plaque she wrote for Lambeth Council  Credit: Alexander Thomas

Amanda with the heritage plaque she wrote for Lambeth Council
Credit: Alexander Thomas

There is no doubt that the cholera epidemics during the Victorian era played a part in speeding up social reform, including effective sanitation.  However, as the recent Ebola outbreak has highlighted, deadly infectious diseases are still a threat to public health in Britain.  The good sanitation which we all enjoy – and the efficacy of antibiotics until recently – have created a dangerous complacency.  Today most diarrheal disease in Britain is caused by an ignorance of good hygiene, particularly the importance of hand washing and careful food preparation.  In the Victorian period the rapid spread of cholera through densely packed communities was not because of tainted water, but rather by hand-to-mouth (oral-faecal) contamination.  At the peak of successive outbreaks, cholera spread most rapidly through the female population, the women caring for the sick and washing the garments and bedding of the dead.  Cholera is a resilient bacterium and can remain dormant for long periods of time, including within dried vomit and excrement.  Those handling such materials who neglected to wash their hands with soap and water afterwards caused the spread of cholera just as effectively as the tainted water supply in John Snow’s Soho.  Bacteria are cunning and opportunistic and our ignorance of the importance of basic preventative measures – such as simple hand washing – means that we will always be vulnerable to diseases like cholera.

AMANDA THOMAS is an author, historian and linguist; she has previously worked in journalism, and public relations. Her books include ‘The Non-Conformist Revolution’ (Pen & Sword History, 2018), ‘Cholera – The Victorian Plague’ (Pen & Sword History, 2015), and ‘The Lambeth Cholera Outbreak of 1848-1849’ (McFarland, 2010). She has advised on the BBC’s ‘Who Do You Think You Are?’ (Series 10, 2013), ‘The One Show’ (2016) and, in collaboration with English Heritage, on ‘The Flying Archaeologist’ (2013)

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Keats, melancholy & mental health – I blog again for The Wordsworth Trust

KeatsblogIt is hard to keep my blog up to date at the moment, with lots to write and things to think about, but I can never resist the opportunity to write about John Keats for the lovely Wordsworth Trust Romanticism blog. In the past two years I have written about how a particular Keats poem speaks to me, about his time at Guy’s Hospital undertaking medical training and a piece on the work of two young film makers taking ‘La belle dame sans merci‘ to new audiences.

This week I am on there again, looking at the ways in which the letters written by Keats offer inspiration and solace in difficult times, and how much of his work can be seen as ahead of its time in its relation to current psychotherapy practice. In his letters you can find expressions of what it means to be ‘mindful’, being accepted for who you really are, learning to cope with anxiety and depression, and finding inner strength. You find empathy and a willingness to walk in another person’s shoes before judging. To really understand how wonderful his poetry is, read his letters and get to know the man. His philosophy is at once melancholy and heartening.

Anyway, you all know how much I love his work and how appealing is his character. Take a trip over to The Wordsworth Trust blog and see how he wrote those inspirational quotes so much better than all those you find on your Facebook news feed.

I would also recommend you take a look at the other posts on Romantic subjects, posted regularly on the blog. They are fascinating and offer a terrific picture of the Romantic period. I am proud to be on there.

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‘Splintered Innocence’ by Peter Heinl – the refugee crisis highlights a timely reissue of an important book about war trauma

Splintered innocenceWhilst writing Shell Shocked Britain I was lucky enough to talk to eminent psychiatrist Dr Peter Heinl, a man who has long been determined to raise awareness of, and work with, those suffering from the lasting effects of war trauma. He was an inspiration to me as I worked hard to make my argument about the lasting impact of the First World War, and was very helpful and supportive, reading the manuscript and commenting for the cover of my book.

So when he told me he was working on the re-issue of his important book, Splintered Innocence:an intuitive approach to treating war trauma and asked if I might help with the final proofreading, I was thrilled, flattered and convinced he had chosen the best time to publish it again.

In his foreword Dr Heinl says:

“I…hope that Splintered Innocence will raise the awareness of the terrible price wars exact from human beings and that it is worth fighting for peace……the topic of the long-term psychological effects of war…[on] children in particular is a field in great and urgent, if not desperate, need of receiving the attention it deserves”

In the first edition he refers to his work with survivors of the atrocities of the Second World War, but relates his findings to previous, and now subsequent, conflicts. Even before the most recent refugee crisis, he had highlighted in the book, and to me when we spoke, his concern that the legacy of the terrible civil war in Syria and the upheaval across the Middle East and Africa would be lasting psychological damage that will manifest itself over decades to come. Having seen the photos and films emerging from Syria, Lebanon, Jordan, Turkey and Europe as desperate people flee unimaginable horrors, it  would be, surely, impossible to disagree.

Syrian-refugees-in-northern-Iraq-Christian-Aid-using-Syria-Crisis-Appeal-funds-photo-credit-Christian-Aid_Sarah-MalianThe fear on the faces of children pulled and pushed from adult to adult as they struggle to board trains to the West, the loss of life in shabby little boats as the last of a family’s life savings is taken by people traffickers who abandon them to the whims of sea, weather and coastguard , the struggles when safety is reached, but in a place with  no access to work, education or even housing and food – all these are, to Dr Heinl, indicators of the mental health crisis that could follow. Having written, in Shell Shocked Britain and subsequent articles, of the ways in which trauma can manifest itself years later, and across and down generations, I consider there to be years of evidence to support his assertion that people suffer, physically and psychologically, for the rest of their lives. Even if they themselves don’t realise it.

And that is the message one gets from this wonderful book, aimed primarily at other therapists but accessible to anyone with an interest in the way the human mind takes in and processes everything it experiences. The adults fleeing conflict show pain writ large on their faces and in their desperate and sometimes angry reactions to some new injustice. They have expected too much of a world which really has no idea how to provide a solution. The children are afraid, confused, terrified of losing those they depend on, clinging to a mother’s skirts or carried in a father’s arms, but they have no voice. The work Peter Heinl has done,  my findings in Shell Shocked Britain and the work currently being done with service personnel traumatised by their work in Afghanistan, Iraq and other global missions, highlight the fact that this trauma can lead to a life blighted by unemployment, substance misuse, homelessness and domestic violence. Relationships are harder to maintain when trust and attachment are issues and marital breakdown and periods of depression and anxiety are more common, as is suicide. Yet the root causes of these issues aren’t always obvious and are often missed; it takes a skilled practitioner to uncover, and help the man, woman or child to deal with the damage that has been done.

At the end of Splintered Innocence, Peter Heinl quotes the Greek saying ‘ War is the father of all things’ and relates it to the history of his native Germany, currently taking in the majority of Syrian refugees currently stranded in Europe. He goes on to suggest that  now we know the horrors war is parent to, perhaps we should re-write the saying as ‘Peace is the father of all things’, and who, witnessing the plight of the millions displaced by war in Syria, could pray for anything less?

Posted in Books, First World War, psychology, Reading, Reviews, Shell Shocked Britain | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Guest post: Words are tools of healing by Vivienne Tuffnell


I was honoured to be asked to write the Foreword for Vivienne Tuffnell’s latest book, ‘Depression and the Art of Tightrope Walking, and today she is guesting over on ‘let’s talk!’, writing about the healing power of words – both reading and writing them. Viv was the inspiration behind the title of the book I edited in 2012 ‘Dandelions and Bad Hair Days’and wrote two essays and a poem for that book. Do take a look at her work and let me know what you think about words as therapy…..

Originally posted on let's talk!:

41Z6WYh-WXL._UY250_Our thanks today to our guest blogger, writer and poet Vivienne Tuffnell, author of a number of wonderful novels, including Strangers and Pilgrims, The Bet and one of our favourites, Away With the Fairies, all dealing with the human condition in a mystical and spiritual way. Her short story collections are full of mystery, with supernatural elements and a deep questioning of what it means to be human. She has written and spoken of her own struggles with depression and has just published a fabulous selection of her prose pieces from her popular blog Zen and the Art of Tightrope Walking. These essays challenge, question and nourish the spirit, offering support to others in mental and emotional distress. Depression and the Art of Tightrope Walking is available from Amazon in paperback and on Kindle.

Just words

No one listens to me.
But then I have nothing to say
I have not…

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From shell shock hospital to magical community – my trip to Seale Hayne

11958244_10154172096635031_9052966308211887393_oLast week I was lucky enough to be invited to Seale-Hayne Hospital, near Newton Abbot in Devon, to meet Ray Bartlett, Chair of the Seale Haynians, who has a special interest in the role of Seale-Hayne as a military hospital during the Great War. The building is now run by one of Britain’s oldest charities, Hannah’s (run by the Dame Hannah Rogers Trust) which is ‘dedicated to empowering children, young people and adults with profound physical and learning disabilities, providing them with life-changing opportunities and advocating their needs…… challenging societal beliefs and cultural acceptances surrounding disabled people with the aim of making disability incidental.’

Arthur Hurst

Arthur Hurst

I have written about Seale-Hayne before, as I researched the work of Dr Arthur Hurst there for both Shell Shocked Britain and a lengthy article for Britain at War magazine, so I was thrilled to be able to appreciate the beautiful buildings first hand. Hurst was the doctor behind the grainy black and white films detailing the experiences of men admitted suffering from the effects of shell shock and he made claims for a cure rate of around 90%, a figure that has been challenged along with his methods. Much of the controversy seems to be caused by a 21st century determination to judge methods used 100 years ago by present day standards. This applies not just to the treatment regime but to the making of documentary films, and it has infuriated Ray Bartlett, and others on the research team working to find out more about the men who spent time at the hospital in 1917 and 1918.

images (1)Having discussed this controversy in a previous post Shell Shock on film – myth or reality, I won’t detail it again, but the matter is complex. Ray was generous with his time and I enjoyed hearing first hand his enthusiastic defence of the doctor.  Real or reconstructed, the symptoms exhibited by the men on the films are as described in much of the documentary evidence of the time, and Hurst’s use of hypnosis and suggestion achieved its greatest success in the reduction of ‘somatic’ or physical symptoms – facial tics, contractures, sensory impairment for example. How far he ‘cured’ men of the impact of the psychological trauma of war is certainly debatable. Ray and the team have uncovered success stories, particularly that of Percy Meek, the ‘star’ of the films, but the psychiatrists of the First World War were notoriously bad at follow-up, and the numbers breaking down post war suggest that for many, respite was short-lived.

11951526_10154172096655031_4646655159308305315_oRay Bartlett thinks Seale-Hayne is magical, and having visited it I have to agree with him. The men treated for shell shock were given the opportunity to work on the farm land around the hospital, rest in the grounds and use the workshop space to gradually rebuild their skills at woodwork, pottery and basket making. The views across the rolling Devon countryside are stunning (although there is concern that housing developments are encroaching at an alarming rate) and the peace and quiet can only have been beneficial to the traumatised minds of men sent home from the Front so desperately damaged.

horticulture.1024x384What is so significant though is how, despite being housed in buildings that spent much of the 20th century as an agricultural college (the purpose for which it was built, before it was briefly used as a military hospital), Hannah’s has somehow taken on the mantle of Hurst’s work nearly 100 years ago. People with profound disabilities have opportunities to work alongside members of the local community in areas dedicated to horticulture and creative arts. Art exhibitions, small creative businesses and story telling areas sit alongside sports facilities, hydrotherapy pool and a polytunnel. Psychological therapies are available, as is accommodation for respite care. The similarities to Hurst’s mission are significant, but because it is the 21st century, there is a bistro, shop and other ways to support the building financially, offering meeting and conference facilities.

11057379_10154172096645031_2317976920443704293_oI spent some time in the Old Library, sitting with Ray in an environment that is redolent of the original Edwardian atmosphere and I saw the small archive they have built up, much of which is currently on display in the Newton Abbot Museum’s First World War exhibition sited in the Great Hall. The Seale-Haynians and Hannah’s are keen to hear from anyone descended from patients or staff at the hospital, or anyone with a story of that time to share and I hope to be able to help them with some of the family history research necessary to identify the families of patients they know to have been treated there.

887457_10154172096630031_1886468922130911862_oI would like to thank Ray and Hannah’s for welcoming me, and I was thrilled to have my photo taken on the very steps down which the men are filmed taking the first footsteps to some kind of recovery. I was surprised to find architecture so unchanged over a century, and one could genuinely feel that should ghosts exist, the spirits of those tormented men who sought help from Dr Hurst could be roaming the high-ceilinged corridors and rooms of the old building.

Shell Shocked Britain has offered me the opportunity for some wonderful experiences, and the visit to Seale-Hayne was one of the loveliest.

Posted in First World War, History, Shell Shocked Britain, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments